The Woods: How the outdoors saved me.

This is one of those soul-bearing posts that I think could help others. It is about how the outdoors saved me.

As a child, my dad would take us for "walks in the woods" behind our house. That phrase is in quotation marks because that's how we would refer to them when asking when we could go again. We weren't allowed in the woods by ourselves. My dad would show us different trees, deer scat, how to look for wildlife without scaring them, and lots of other tips and tricks and educating us on different things about "the woods." I loved the woods. It was when we lived in upstate New York that we made these adventures happen: tall hardwoods, crumbling rock walls acting as property lines from the 18th century, lush green grasses and ferns, whitetail deer, and even an occasional black bear (scat).

I continued being an outdoorsperson, and I still am. When I was able, I would go on hikes or explore outdoors areas such as waterfalls, creeks, rivers, and forests. At that time, it was just something I enjoyed and felt good, health-wise, about doing. Little did I know what an impact my "walks in the woods" would have on my mental / emotional well-being.

I had come across some articles about how the outdoors is good for your brain, how the outdoors is used as therapy, how hiking is good for your emotional well-being, but they didn't apply to me. They were just items I used when I discussed emotional well-being with others in an instructing sort of manner. "Having a rough day? Go outside." But I wasn't applying that to my own life because, on the surface, I thought everything was hunky-dorey.

That changed.

Sparing some privacy details, things changed several months ago when I was given some news that shook the foundation of my soul. I was emotionally lost and distraught. There were times that I felt like I was drowning, and instead of paddling to the surface, I was clawing madly and wildly in the water, not going anywhere - just there - drowning. That is the best way I can possibly describe it. I lost weight (as in 10 lbs in 2 days and growing from there) from not eating and being stressed. I immediately did what we all do as humans: blaming myself. What did I do wrong? What didn't I do? How did I not see this? Was I blinded by stress? Will I ever be okay? Am I ever going to be good enough? And then the declarative statements started: I am NOT good enough. I will NOT be okay. My favorite of all time, "I am worthless."

But then I started to do something...walks in the woods. After work, I would grab our dog, and I would head north about fifteen minutes to a small Civil War battlefield park, and we would walk for about two miles. I did that three times a week. Then I would hike 6 miles on Saturday mornings.

And I started feeling better which made me get better which made me feel better again, and the cycle of "good" started. Feeling better...getting better....feeling better.....getting "better'er"....feeling "better'er."

I was taking walks in the woods to clear my mind, to lighten the burden I had placed on my self-esteem and then removing it, and starting anew. I stopped blaming myself with questions, and the negative declarative statements ceased. I saw my faults not as faults but as strengths (a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy of sorts). And I continued to get better.

I also started eating better and losing weight the right way. I stopped looking at the scale and based my progress on feeling better and clothes fitting better. That's how I continued. The more I felt better, the longer I was able to take walks in the woods. The first few times sucked (a mile...mile and a half), but then I got better and was progressing to 8-10 miles (which, for my size and health, was awesome).

The news I received took three or four months to work its way through, and on the other side of it all, I was prepared for whatever that decision was because I was healthier, stronger, and better. Luckily, the news helped me in the end, and it made me stronger which is where I am today.

While you can read articles all day long about why nature works and such, until you actually go through something that shakes you to your core and apply it to that situation, you don't realize how soul-strengthening "walks in the woods" are.